[ swallowing down another wave of bile, adder tried to force his body to relax more if only for hyunki's sake. if he looked less hurt then some of the worry would leave hyunki's face and the lines of his body. adder loathed bringing him any kind of pain and had tried to protect him as much as possible from it. his world would always be a difficult existence and sometimes downright terrifying. there were so many switching loyalties and those who wanted to take over and throw them all out of their seats of power. sometimes, adder longed for it but he knew what would happen if he lost his title.

without it, he would also lose his life.

looking up at hyunki, he managed to lift his arm up and cup his cheek. his thumb moved back and forth slowly. ]

I don't think you weak but I do know you're worried. You're terrified and you'd do anything to help me. [ he knew all too well hyunki would break himself down for his sake and it just couldn't be. he needed hyunki to be the rational one right now and keep his strength as much as possible. ]

We don't know what else might happen. [ a shudder worked over his body from another wave of hyunki's healing. it curled around him in the warmth his missed from his flames and his eyes shut from it. when his hand dropped, he just wrapped his arms around hyunki's waist, burying his face in his stomach. ]

I love you. [ he whispered as the emotions swirled around him. centuries worth just built up and threatening to spill over. ]

I thought - I'd never see you again. [ the words continued to spill from his lips along with the hot tears over his face. ] I'm sorry. I'm - so sorry, Hyunki.

[ did hyunki understand now why adder had paused on bonding with him so fully? he knew moments like this were possible and he didn't find himself worth it. certainly not for all of this agony. ]