[ his eyes slowly cracked open at the confession, thinking on the words for a minute through the haze of his mind. processing things took a lot more time than usual thanks to all the weariness. the level of exhaustion he never experienced before in all his existence. ]
Do you mean ever? [ he asked, softly, pulling back to look at hyunki. ] You don't want to be without me ever?
[ words were an important thing with adder and choices of them mattered a lot. ]
Will you be okay if I fall asleep? You're not going to do anything, right?
[ hyunki promised to not leave him but that didn't mean he couldn't do things from beside him. ]
Have I not made that clear before? I've told you, and I'll tell you again, Adder: I don't want to be without you, ever. Why do you think I agreed for us to be bonded? I don't take this kind of thing lightly.
[ He pressed his fingers, lightly, to the tree shaped mark on Adder's chest. ]
I love you, and I want to be with you, by your side, forever. The fact that we severed our bond, even superficially? It's killing me, Adder. I hate it.
[ a little rumbling noise greeted hyunki's words at first because of the exhaustion tugging away at adder. he couldn't remember ever being so tired before but then again he usually had his abilities to take care of, well, everything. it felt like now he had a million years worth of exhaustion slamming at him. so much weariness just undoing him from the inside out. ]
I meant physically. [ he muttered as he fought to stay awake and explaining things with hyunki. he wanted them to be on the same page, of course. ]
I know. I know. I don't take it lightly either and I don't like feeling you either. [ it left him hollowed out to not have hyunki's presence right there but the touch of the tree had his eyes fluttering back open. ] Hmmmm.
[ oh, plenty of things but he waited for a moment before replying. ] Retribution, mostly. Plotting. All kinds of things related to that objective.
Oh. [ A little sheepish, Hyunki could feel his ears turn red, but he didn't back down. If anything, he held Adder a little tighter, without going so far as to potentially hurt him. ]
I'm not going anywhere. I haven't seen you in so long, and I'm going to make sure you recover. I'm going to look after you, okay?
[ Sliding down into the bathtub a little bit, Hyunki nuzzled Adder's temple, not caring that he was still muddy and bloody. With his free hand, he kept cleaning Adder up as he best he could, careful and slow and gentle, almost more just touching than anything else. ]
I love you more than anything, and seeing you hurt makes me want to tear the world down with my bare hands. But being with you is much more important to me. You are much more important to me. If there's something that can be done, anything, that means we can be together more, and without fears, then I want to help. But not against your will.
[ for the first time since the titans stole him away, adder let down his guards and relaxed there against hyunki. the tension unwound in the lines of his body and he kind of slumped and yawned softly. it took a lot to drop adder's walls even after all the time they spent together. yes, he trusted hyunki and loved him more than he believed he was capable of but the fear always lingered in the back of his mind. look at how easily the titans managed to move past their defenses? if he let his guard down too much, what else could happen? ]
That's really - means a lot to me. [ adder managed, his eyes falling shut again. he clung onto hyunki but eventually he lost the battle against not sleeping and drifted off.
it took hours before he stirred again, in fact, 48 hours to be exact. when his eyes blinked open again, he moaned faintly. not wanting to move yet because everything still ached and he just wanted to continue sleeping. things were so peaceful there, safe and warm. but the chill penetrated him again and he sat up slowly. the pain had lessened considerably and he knew he hyunki managed almost the impossible there. ]
I'm mortal right now. [ adder announced as he wrapped his arms around his legs. ] That was one of the bargains. One of the ways to - [ he shook his head. ]
[ Despite all of his worries, Hyunki allowed Adder to sleep, and as soon as he was under, there was little Hyunki could do to wake him up. So he took care of Adder, quietly, gently, carrying him from the bathroom to the bed, getting him set up, and worrying extensively as he still used his powers regularly to help Adder knit himself back together.
Usually, he would be fine, by now. He wouldn't need so much time to recuperate. But they weren't under normal circumstances. For days and nights, Hyunki curled up by Adder's side, a hand on his chest just to feel the steady rise and fall, his own heart feeling torn apart as worries and fears ate at him. He didn't sleep, instead found himself reading his latest book out loud, in case Adder could hear him, would find it soothing in his dreams.
He was just taking a little break for himself when Adder woke up. He'd been splashing water over his face after brushing his teeth when he heard the bed creak, and Hyunki jumped out of the bathroom to see Adder sitting up. He rushed over, hands reaching out. ]
Don't - overexert yourself.
[ Adder was human. That explains - well, that explained so much. Hyunki sat down, swallowed hard. To think Adder this fragile was. Well, it was impossible, truly. ]
normally, the words wouldn't mean anything because human imitations meant nothing to him. but the titans changed things and he wondered how to fix what they stole. if only his sisters listened to him earlier about the titans and the measures they would take against all of them. to belittle someone invited them to show another side; to prove the falsehood of the words in question.
letting out a slow breath, he reached out a hand for hyunki, wanting to soothe the worry somehow. a physical connection might help even the tiniest bit. ]
It's not permanent. It cannot be. [ how could they change his very nature in a deeper way? they only dealt in parlor tricks and he just needed to find a way to undo it. likely, they buried his true nature or they ripped it out somehow. either option allowed for him to restore himself. ]
I just have to figure out how they did it and the way to undo what they did. The only good thing is my siblings will be facing similar. [ actually, he didn't know but he knew hyunki would worry about it. his siblings were always trying to kill him, though, so he understood the concern. ]
Looks like you're the stronger one between us now. Got to turn you on a little, Hyunkie. [ a nice subject change and mood shift there. ]
[ This wasn't normal. Nothing about this whole things that Adder was going through was normal for him, and it meant that it was nothing normal for Hyunki either. ]
Do you know what to do to reverse it?
[ Of course, he couldn't do it now, not until he was better, and that'd take a while for a human body. But he might still have an idea of what could be done to repair the damage, to make him the person he was supposed to be. Not that Hyunki loved him any less, and maybe - maybe he should say that.
With a tiny sigh, Hyunki laid a hand over Adder's chest, looking down at him. ]
If it is permanent, I just want you to know - it doesn't change anything. My feelings are the same, and they will stay the same.
[ Of course, it changed things. A human body would age and decay at the expected rhythm, not the one they were supposed to have. But Hyunki didn't want to worry about that, not now.
He knew Adder was joking to try and luighten the mood, but the words still made him frown for a moment. He didn't want to be the stronger, or more powerful one. He just wanted Adder, his Adder, to be fully who he was and wanted to be. Nothing else mattered.
But if Adder wanted to stop feeling so glum, then Hyunki would do his best to help. So he smiled, his hand moving up in a caress. ]
Like I need you to be human to boss you around. I've got you wrapped around my little finger anyway.
[ time stood still for deities because while it passed, it never really focused or made much of a dent. it existed almost outside of their inner realm. something others faced but they didn't in a deeper sense. never before had adder needed to worry about time but now things were suddenly different. what a thing to try and wrap his mind around.
looking up, he took in hyunki, every inch of him because he never thought for a while there he would see him again. at least, not in actuality. memories were always with him and no one would ever take them from him. ]
I'll work something out. [ easy words but they did little to ease the pain or the panic rushing through in equal measures. the former lesser because of hyunki's help. how much luck could one being have? ]
You do have a way about you. I cannot often deny it. [ hyunki never gave him reason to. ]
I cannot stay human. It would change too much. [ a flicker happened inside of him, though, of a growing burst of something. to exist without so much pressure and constant agony? to no longer be what held the universe together? he could have never dared to imagine it before but now the possibility grew within him. ]
I am feeling less terrible. Am I taking you away from anything important you need to attend to?
[ It was a difficult thing even for Hyunki to wrap his mind around, the idea that Adder was not a God anymore, at least not for now. He didn't take it for granted, ever, but there had undoubtedly been some comforts they both enjoyed due to Adder's status, the biggest of all their bond, and how they could always be assured of each other's safety through it.
Without it, Hyunki felt a little hollowed out. He knew, over time, that his love would plug the holes, but at this moment, it felt a little strange. When Adder moved a little, Hyunki leaned in, kissing his temple, eyes closing as he pressed thoughts and feelings into the gesture. He listened to Adder, thought over an answer, still holding him close and refusing to let go. ]
Would it be so bad? To be human?
[ Things would be different, yes. Things would change. For Hyunki, too. But he could imagine that being free of the work and the responsibilities Adder had would not necessarily be a bad thing. ] I'd love you the same, human or God.
[ It felt important to say. At the question, Hyunki looked at Adder, frowning and shaking his head. ]
There is nothing more important than you. You're not taking me away from anything, stop worrying about me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Do you mean ever? [ he asked, softly, pulling back to look at hyunki. ] You don't want to be without me ever?
[ words were an important thing with adder and choices of them mattered a lot. ]
Will you be okay if I fall asleep? You're not going to do anything, right?
[ hyunki promised to not leave him but that didn't mean he couldn't do things from beside him. ]
no subject
Have I not made that clear before? I've told you, and I'll tell you again, Adder: I don't want to be without you, ever. Why do you think I agreed for us to be bonded? I don't take this kind of thing lightly.
[ He pressed his fingers, lightly, to the tree shaped mark on Adder's chest. ]
I love you, and I want to be with you, by your side, forever. The fact that we severed our bond, even superficially? It's killing me, Adder. I hate it.
[ Hyunki raised an eyebrow. ]
You can sleep. What do you think I'd do?
no subject
I meant physically. [ he muttered as he fought to stay awake and explaining things with hyunki. he wanted them to be on the same page, of course. ]
I know. I know. I don't take it lightly either and I don't like feeling you either. [ it left him hollowed out to not have hyunki's presence right there but the touch of the tree had his eyes fluttering back open. ] Hmmmm.
[ oh, plenty of things but he waited for a moment before replying. ] Retribution, mostly. Plotting. All kinds of things related to that objective.
no subject
I'm not going anywhere. I haven't seen you in so long, and I'm going to make sure you recover. I'm going to look after you, okay?
[ Sliding down into the bathtub a little bit, Hyunki nuzzled Adder's temple, not caring that he was still muddy and bloody. With his free hand, he kept cleaning Adder up as he best he could, careful and slow and gentle, almost more just touching than anything else. ]
I love you more than anything, and seeing you hurt makes me want to tear the world down with my bare hands. But being with you is much more important to me. You are much more important to me. If there's something that can be done, anything, that means we can be together more, and without fears, then I want to help. But not against your will.
no subject
That's really - means a lot to me. [ adder managed, his eyes falling shut again. he clung onto hyunki but eventually he lost the battle against not sleeping and drifted off.
it took hours before he stirred again, in fact, 48 hours to be exact. when his eyes blinked open again, he moaned faintly. not wanting to move yet because everything still ached and he just wanted to continue sleeping. things were so peaceful there, safe and warm. but the chill penetrated him again and he sat up slowly. the pain had lessened considerably and he knew he hyunki managed almost the impossible there. ]
I'm mortal right now. [ adder announced as he wrapped his arms around his legs. ] That was one of the bargains. One of the ways to - [ he shook his head. ]
Never been mortal before. Can't say I enjoy it.
no subject
Usually, he would be fine, by now. He wouldn't need so much time to recuperate. But they weren't under normal circumstances. For days and nights, Hyunki curled up by Adder's side, a hand on his chest just to feel the steady rise and fall, his own heart feeling torn apart as worries and fears ate at him. He didn't sleep, instead found himself reading his latest book out loud, in case Adder could hear him, would find it soothing in his dreams.
He was just taking a little break for himself when Adder woke up. He'd been splashing water over his face after brushing his teeth when he heard the bed creak, and Hyunki jumped out of the bathroom to see Adder sitting up. He rushed over, hands reaching out. ]
Don't - overexert yourself.
[ Adder was human. That explains - well, that explained so much. Hyunki sat down, swallowed hard. To think Adder this fragile was. Well, it was impossible, truly. ]
Is it - permanent?
no subject
normally, the words wouldn't mean anything because human imitations meant nothing to him. but the titans changed things and he wondered how to fix what they stole. if only his sisters listened to him earlier about the titans and the measures they would take against all of them. to belittle someone invited them to show another side; to prove the falsehood of the words in question.
letting out a slow breath, he reached out a hand for hyunki, wanting to soothe the worry somehow. a physical connection might help even the tiniest bit. ]
It's not permanent. It cannot be. [ how could they change his very nature in a deeper way? they only dealt in parlor tricks and he just needed to find a way to undo it. likely, they buried his true nature or they ripped it out somehow. either option allowed for him to restore himself. ]
I just have to figure out how they did it and the way to undo what they did. The only good thing is my siblings will be facing similar. [ actually, he didn't know but he knew hyunki would worry about it. his siblings were always trying to kill him, though, so he understood the concern. ]
Looks like you're the stronger one between us now. Got to turn you on a little, Hyunkie. [ a nice subject change and mood shift there. ]
no subject
Do you know what to do to reverse it?
[ Of course, he couldn't do it now, not until he was better, and that'd take a while for a human body. But he might still have an idea of what could be done to repair the damage, to make him the person he was supposed to be. Not that Hyunki loved him any less, and maybe - maybe he should say that.
With a tiny sigh, Hyunki laid a hand over Adder's chest, looking down at him. ]
If it is permanent, I just want you to know - it doesn't change anything. My feelings are the same, and they will stay the same.
[ Of course, it changed things. A human body would age and decay at the expected rhythm, not the one they were supposed to have. But Hyunki didn't want to worry about that, not now.
He knew Adder was joking to try and luighten the mood, but the words still made him frown for a moment. He didn't want to be the stronger, or more powerful one. He just wanted Adder, his Adder, to be fully who he was and wanted to be. Nothing else mattered.
But if Adder wanted to stop feeling so glum, then Hyunki would do his best to help. So he smiled, his hand moving up in a caress. ]
Like I need you to be human to boss you around. I've got you wrapped around my little finger anyway.
no subject
looking up, he took in hyunki, every inch of him because he never thought for a while there he would see him again. at least, not in actuality. memories were always with him and no one would ever take them from him. ]
I'll work something out. [ easy words but they did little to ease the pain or the panic rushing through in equal measures. the former lesser because of hyunki's help. how much luck could one being have? ]
You do have a way about you. I cannot often deny it. [ hyunki never gave him reason to. ]
I cannot stay human. It would change too much. [ a flicker happened inside of him, though, of a growing burst of something. to exist without so much pressure and constant agony? to no longer be what held the universe together? he could have never dared to imagine it before but now the possibility grew within him. ]
I am feeling less terrible. Am I taking you away from anything important you need to attend to?
no subject
Without it, Hyunki felt a little hollowed out. He knew, over time, that his love would plug the holes, but at this moment, it felt a little strange. When Adder moved a little, Hyunki leaned in, kissing his temple, eyes closing as he pressed thoughts and feelings into the gesture. He listened to Adder, thought over an answer, still holding him close and refusing to let go. ]
Would it be so bad? To be human?
[ Things would be different, yes. Things would change. For Hyunki, too. But he could imagine that being free of the work and the responsibilities Adder had would not necessarily be a bad thing. ] I'd love you the same, human or God.
[ It felt important to say. At the question, Hyunki looked at Adder, frowning and shaking his head. ]
There is nothing more important than you. You're not taking me away from anything, stop worrying about me.