Yes, I usually serve a purpose if I'm focused on at all. [ he gave a faint shrug as if it didn't matter to him but clearly it did. so much mattered to him with how deeply his emotions ran. passionate barely began to describe him. ]
It's not selfish if I want you just as much, just as intently. You - want me without any stipulations. You're not trying to change me. That - [ he shook his head, holding tighter onto hyunki again. ]
[ The frown did not leave Hyunki's face. It was - they were similar in this way. Serving a purpose, only needed for the one thing. Hyunki knew the feeling, and yet he could not imagine anyone only wanting Adder for his power.
Not when he had so much to give. ]
Changing you would be silly, when I like who you are as much as I do.
[ a soft smile filled his face and he couldn't resist cupping hyunki's cheek for a moment. the sweetness just really shook him up from the inside out sometimes.
okay, almost all the time. ]
You give me a lot more confidence in myself, Hyunki. I hope I do the same thing for you. You're more than they led you to believe you are. You're stunning and remarkable.
[ and also his but it seemed too soon to say such a thing aloud. ]
[ Hyunki looked down, before leaning into the touch, nuzzling into it a little. ]
You do make me believe that this - what you see in me - might be true. I've never thought much of a myself before, but. I like the idea of being a lot to you.
I'll spend the rest of time trying to make you believe it. [ adder confessed, the words not sinking in, at least, the implication of them for a second or two. when it did, he tensed a little because they never really discussed it. What if it became too much too soon? Just because they were developing feelings for one another didn't mean hyunki wanted all of existence with only him.
rubbing at this cheek, he quickly added - ] I mean - for as long as you want to be with me - and -
[ Hyunki's heart rate picked up, and he suppressed a shiver, looking down and shuffling to press his forehead to Adder's. ]
The trees always say to live every day as if it's your last, because it could be. We may not know how we'll feel in 10, 50, 100, 500 years from now. But what I do know now is that I don't want to spend any potential last day without you. You've changed everything.
[ time moved very differently for someone like adder but he nodded his head. knowing his own emotions very rarely changed once he set them. another feature he knew not everyone shared in. most likely, a deity thing. ]
You're right. We can focus on now and not the future of what may or may not be.
We can, baby, we can try. [ it worried him a little about being too much for hyunki but he would really work on not being too intense or consuming. a difficult feat given he needed to be in the underworld context. ] I've always been the - plan everything to the last detail kind.
[Baby. The word sent a shiver, feeling absolutely delicious, down Hyunki's spine. ]
There's also nothing wrong with that. But I don't want you to think you have no freedom. I want you to be so - so free. To do whatever it pleases you. Because that matters, too. You can deviate from plans.
[ adder didn't even notice the baby, it just kind of happened naturally. as for the other bits, well, he considered them a lot closer.
freedom. what a foreign concept he knew so little about. usually, there were practical shackles around his ankles keeping him very tied to his duties. ]
You want the same thing? Freedom? Choosing what you want to do? What would be your top three things right now.
[ With a nod, Hyunki considered the question, not wanting to answer too lightly. There were a lot of things he wanted, and that he wanted to choose for himself.
He looked back with a very serious expression, thumb brushing Adder's cheek again. ]
Love. I want to get to choose who I'm with, and the rest be damned. That's the first, and most important thing. I also want to be able to travel, and see the world and learn from it, not be stuck in one place for my whole life, waiting for things to happen to me instead of making them happen myself. And third, I guess, I want to... be relevant, in a way. Matter to the world, do something with my life, and my powers.
[ It mainly had to do with not being stuck living like a tree waiting to be told what to do by his family. Who to marry, where to move, how to act.
[ the answer really spoke a lot about hyunki and adder considered again how special he happened to be. how rare and beautiful. he used to not believe in luck either but he couldn't think of anything else other than that when it came to hyunki. just how lucky he had turned out to be to meet him. ]
All three of those things can happen, Hyunki. You can pick who you want to be with, you're already making a difference and being relevant in that house. The traveling - might be a little more difficult but not impossible. You can have it - you can.
[ It wasn't that Hyunki didn't believe him, or didn't want to believe him. He did, so much. But he'd never heard anyone be as confident about this as Adder was, right now. It felt impossible, and his voice was very small when he spoke. ]
Edited (nevermind i confused my threads all is well) 2018-09-24 18:47 (UTC)
[ the comment earned hyunki one of the rarely seen gummy smiles, all lit up and happy. he looked younger when he actually smiled, less burdened and far more human ]
I'll be thankful to everything that brought us together.
[ Hyunki could only grin back, caressing Adder's cheek at that beautiful, beautiful smile. He wanted to see it again, and again, and so many times more. ]
Do you really not mind if I watch you sleep? I can go back to my things and find a book, if you'd rather I didn't.
[ even if not used to touch, adder easily leaned into hyunki's, which spoke more volumes than he probably understood. how much he kept reaching out for hyunki did too. but again, he probably did not know. ]
I don't mind if you watch me sleep, Hyunki. I think - it's amazing you want to. That you - can't look away from me. I - it makes me feel special.
Romantic. [ he murmured, lips twitching at the corners as he shifted around and laid half on top of hyunki, tucking his face against his neck. he liked the way the position allowed them to tangle their legs together and both hold on another.
the stories comment made sense with how much he had lived and experieced. ]
I never lingered too long topside throughout the length of my existence but I have seen a lot. I miss the flapper era. It was really nice.
[ he had a thing for the 20s, 30s and 40s. a kind of otherworldly appeal and more classic than anything of the current era. ]
[ It's easy to imagine Adder in a broad shouldered pinstripe suit, a fedora on his head, a watch chain dangling from his vest pocket.
...Yeah. ]
I can imagine you've seen so much more than me. I think, what you consider 'not lingering too long' is probably still a lot longer than I've ever lived. I'd love to hear all about it.
[ Especially stuff about living in big cities and in the middle of a busy, growing world. Because Hyunki knew a lot, sure, but it mostly pertained to nature. He was so hungry to know more.
He considered the question, his ears growing a little red. ]
I'd like to think you'd want to dream about me. But I also hope you dream of - good things. Beautiful things. Rainforests and laughter and whatever it is that makes you happy, content. I want that for you, and for your dreams.
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Is that something people usually do? Use you for their own gains?
[ That definitely made him frown. ]
I'm still not selfless. The fact that I want you the way I do is pretty selfish, but I also don't think it's bad.
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It's not selfish if I want you just as much, just as intently. You - want me without any stipulations. You're not trying to change me. That - [ he shook his head, holding tighter onto hyunki again. ]
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Not when he had so much to give. ]
Changing you would be silly, when I like who you are as much as I do.
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okay, almost all the time. ]
You give me a lot more confidence in myself, Hyunki. I hope I do the same thing for you. You're more than they led you to believe you are. You're stunning and remarkable.
[ and also his but it seemed too soon to say such a thing aloud. ]
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You do make me believe that this - what you see in me - might be true. I've never thought much of a myself before, but. I like the idea of being a lot to you.
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rubbing at this cheek, he quickly added - ] I mean - for as long as you want to be with me - and -
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The trees always say to live every day as if it's your last, because it could be. We may not know how we'll feel in 10, 50, 100, 500 years from now. But what I do know now is that I don't want to spend any potential last day without you. You've changed everything.
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You're right. We can focus on now and not the future of what may or may not be.
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Thank you.
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You're welcome. I'll try to not plan so much. Give more - room for things.
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There's also nothing wrong with that. But I don't want you to think you have no freedom. I want you to be so - so free. To do whatever it pleases you. Because that matters, too. You can deviate from plans.
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freedom. what a foreign concept he knew so little about. usually, there were practical shackles around his ankles keeping him very tied to his duties. ]
You want the same thing? Freedom? Choosing what you want to do? What would be your top three things right now.
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He looked back with a very serious expression, thumb brushing Adder's cheek again. ]
Love. I want to get to choose who I'm with, and the rest be damned. That's the first, and most important thing. I also want to be able to travel, and see the world and learn from it, not be stuck in one place for my whole life, waiting for things to happen to me instead of making them happen myself. And third, I guess, I want to... be relevant, in a way. Matter to the world, do something with my life, and my powers.
[ It mainly had to do with not being stuck living like a tree waiting to be told what to do by his family. Who to marry, where to move, how to act.
Not anymore. ]
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All three of those things can happen, Hyunki. You can pick who you want to be with, you're already making a difference and being relevant in that house. The traveling - might be a little more difficult but not impossible. You can have it - you can.
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[ It wasn't that Hyunki didn't believe him, or didn't want to believe him. He did, so much. But he'd never heard anyone be as confident about this as Adder was, right now. It felt impossible, and his voice was very small when he spoke. ]
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[ reaching out, he pressed his palm against hyunki's chest over his heart. ]
Your heart is special, beautiful and it is going to carry you through. Anything you decide, this won't lead you wrong.
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[ He wasn't sure he agreed that he was meant for greatness. But he could try to be. ]
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I'll be thankful to everything that brought us together.
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Do you really not mind if I watch you sleep? I can go back to my things and find a book, if you'd rather I didn't.
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I don't mind if you watch me sleep, Hyunki. I think - it's amazing you want to. That you - can't look away from me. I - it makes me feel special.
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Your eyes hold more stories than any book I could read. I like to think about what you may be dreaming of while you sleep.
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the stories comment made sense with how much he had lived and experieced. ]
I never lingered too long topside throughout the length of my existence but I have seen a lot. I miss the flapper era. It was really nice.
[ he had a thing for the 20s, 30s and 40s. a kind of otherworldly appeal and more classic than anything of the current era. ]
What do you think I'm dreaming about?
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[ It's easy to imagine Adder in a broad shouldered pinstripe suit, a fedora on his head, a watch chain dangling from his vest pocket.
...Yeah. ]
I can imagine you've seen so much more than me. I think, what you consider 'not lingering too long' is probably still a lot longer than I've ever lived. I'd love to hear all about it.
[ Especially stuff about living in big cities and in the middle of a busy, growing world. Because Hyunki knew a lot, sure, but it mostly pertained to nature. He was so hungry to know more.
He considered the question, his ears growing a little red. ]
I'd like to think you'd want to dream about me. But I also hope you dream of - good things. Beautiful things. Rainforests and laughter and whatever it is that makes you happy, content. I want that for you, and for your dreams.
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