[ It is a bit like sinking into a cloud. Or what Dal imagines sinking into a cloud would be like.
Hm. Interesting. He's learned something new just by lying here. ]
I think meeting people here has changed me more than anything else so far. Not that I did a lot of living before I came here, but it feels like... it feels like everyone here has given me a little more of myself.
[ He's not too sure how else to put it. That feels right. Everyone has a different piece and they've all added something.
Now Dal can almost see himself clearly. He's getting closer every day. ]
Myung gave me the biggest piece. I was like you in that I'd never had any of these experiences, not even being touched by someone else. But I didn't even know to think of it the way you did. I thought I'd never have a chance to be with someone.
Do you think we're both lucky? That we found them when we did?
That's a nice way of phrasing things. We all learn and grow by interacting with others. Do you feel like you didn't know yourself, before? [ He pauses, listening out to the trees outside, asking them silently what they think. ]
The Trees seem to know you.
[ Does that sound ominous? ]
How did you feel, when you realized you could be with someone? Adder's the same as you, in a way - he never thought himself deserving of love, physical or otherwise. But falling for him was the easiest thing in the world to do, he's so generous, and kind, and gentle. Funny, too. [ Hyunki sighs, a little dreamily. Someone's smitten. ]
Do you like it? The physical intimacy?
[ Hyunki smiles. ]
I think it's fate. So I don't know if I'd call it luck, exactly.
No, I didn't know myself at all, [ Dal says frankly, folding his hands over his lap while he lies next to Hyunki. It's a little strange. This is the closest he's been, for the longest period of time, to someone who isn't Myung. There was Kwang, but that felt different. This is just closeness with no goal in mind. They just happen to be lying on the same hammock. ]
I didn't have anything to go on. [ He turns his head. ] The trees know me? [ This is news to him. ] I don't know how that works.
[ It sounds interesting to him, not ominous. But he is clearly confused. ]
I felt free. And a little scared. Happy most of all. It's strange to be told something you thought was impossible isn't just possible, but is already happening to you.
Adder sounds like an impressive person. [ And, Dal thinks, Hyunki is impressive too. The way his love and affection manifest. Dal's a little jealous of how expressive he is. ]
I like it a lot. Probably more than I could say.
[ Pink cheeks say a lot on their own too. ]
I think... we might be lucky that fate likes us. That's what I think.
Yes. You see, I'm always able to communicate with Nature, and Trees in particular. They care for the people in this house, very much. And they talk to me about everyone. They know you, and they know Bam. They know you as two different people. They're glad you seem happy.
[ They will have things to say about your treehouse escapade, Dal.
Give the opportunity to talk about Adder, Hyunki grins. It's like he blooms, right here in front of Dal. A moonflower. ]
Adder is the most impressive person I've ever met. He's actually a god, really. He's been around for a very, very long time, and he's been lonely, and fate brought us together. I have learned so much from him, and I still do, every day. He's with me always. [ Hyunki taps lightly at his heart, where the shadow mark lays. ] He loves me, unconditionally, and I love him just the same.
[ With a grin, Hyunki leans forward a tiny bit. ]
Are you scared of talking about it? I promise you, it doesn't make it any less real. I might be able to ease some worries you might have - I'm still new at it, myself, so I can relate.
It's a little strange to think someone knows me, but we've never met, [ Dal muses, fidgeting a bit with the hem of his shirt. ] You said they don't see me and Bam as the same person? Is that really true? [ It's not that he doesn't believe it.
It's just he'd like to hear it again.
The trees can have opinions and thoughts about escapades if they want. Dal will try to behave like an adult about it. Even if he is perilously shy.
Watching Hyunki talk about Adder is cute. Dal is enjoying it, honestly. ]
Unconditionally, huh? That's sort of a big thing to say, isn't it? [ Dal isn't sure he could say the same. Not because his love is small, though in some ways it is small in scope. It's just he doesn't know what all the conditions might be and he worries about things like that. It gets better every day, the more he learns, but he still thinks about it from time to time.
About all the things he doesn't know.
Hyunki's grin sort of makes Dal feel a little red-faced. ] No, not scared... I don't know how to put it exactly. I want more than I think I should take all at once.
[ He nods at the comment about being new to this. That's reassuring to him and it makes it feel easier and safer to talk to Hyunki. He understands. ]
You've met, though. The Trees are everywhere. You see them, and they see you. You'll see, when you try out my powers.
[ More like you'll hear, but eh. Semantics. Hyunki nods. ]
It's true. You're very different, you know. I think they were a little surprised that you share a body, actually. It seems to confuse them. Do you know how it is, that the two of you do share in this way?
[ Maybe he could explain it, if Dal explains it to him.
Hyunki hums, extending a hand to graze at the tall grass surrounding the hammock. ]
It is. But it's the truth. At the very beginning, I was wary, too. Adder - Adder was gung-ho, from the get-go, it's like he knew that we were it for each other, but he still allowed me to get to the same conclusion at my own pace. And everything has happened quickly between us, that's true, but. It's this thing - when you know, you know. Maybe it's cliche.
[ He shrugs lightly. ]
But I know I'm going to spend the rest of my days with him. I will never love anyone the way I love him. I bear his mark, and he bears mine. We belong to each other.
[ He looks back, a little critically. ]
Does Myung think you're asking for too much? Or is he offering you to take as much as you'd like? Because I used to be a little worried about that, too - wanting too much, too hard, too fast. But turns out, Adder wanted exactly the same, and I never was too much for him. Maybe Myung wants to give you everything in the same way.
[ Hyunki tilts his head, for a moment listening to the wispy whispers of the Trees in his head. ]
Or are you worried for yourself, that it'll all be too much for you to handle? How much have you actually done? [ He asks, matter-of-fact. Oh, Hyunki. ]
I'm curious to see what that's like, [ Dal says, looking back at the ceiling, expression thoughtful. How can he not be, honestly?
It's not a power like any he's tried or used before. The more he's allowed to think about actually borrowing and using powers, the more curious he gets. ]
About me and Bam, I have no idea. We've been trying to figure that out for a long time. I wish I could tell you more, but I'm in the dark myself. Maybe someday we'll figure it out.
[ He sincerely hopes so, anyway. It's one of the things he hopes for most in this world, just to know who or what he is. It would definitely be helpful. ]
I guess cliches are popular for a reason. I don't think it sounds so farfetched to know something like that really quickly. [ Dal thinks over his next words for a second. ] When I met Myung, I'd never touched anyone. But I reached for him, the first day we met. He's always going to be the first person I touched.
[ He hunches his shoulders up a little, hugging himself. ]
I don't know if I can say as much as you can yet, maybe not for a long time, but I know that much.
[ Dal raises his head at the next part, looking perplexed. ] No, he's never indicated anything like that, it's- I don't trust myself. I'm the one imposing limits, not him. [ Dal's talking a lot right now. Hyunki's apparently very good at getting him to do so. To open up as much as he can.
Or needs to.
Or both.
He fidgets with the glove on his hand. ] I feel like I need to do things slowly. A little more each time. The first time, I just watched him. We've touched each other with our hands. [ He seems to be a little hesitant to say more. ]
I hope I can get to show you. I don’t know if I can transfer my powers to you through your glove. Usually, I can just touch someone while touching a tree, and they can hear them too. But with your power, I am unsure if it would work.
[ Hyunki makes a little noise. He can’t imagine not knowing what he is, intimately. He’s always been in touch with his powers and his origins. ]
It must be tough, not to know.
[ A pause. ]
Do you love him? You don’t have to know everything - I sure don’t. But if you know that, it helps. It makes everything clearer. I know you care deeply for him.
[ Hyunki is good to open up to. He doesn’t reveal secrets and he is a good listener. He doesn’t always have answers, but he’s good at brainstorming. He grins at Dal’s words. ]
Ah! Hands are a good starting point. I’m very fond of Adder’s mouth, but we also started with just hands at first. We did sort of rush through things - I admire your wish to take your time, I was very impatient.
I hope it will. I'd really like to experience it. [ Dal looks at Hyunki, then the ceiling again. ] Maybe Bam can do it and I can listen in. He's sort of bad at doing that when I'm out, but I guess since I've had more practice...
[ He shrugs. It's just a thing. ]
It is tough. I wonder about it a lot. [ But the more he wonders, the more he realizes he probably won't ever know. Wondering doesn't get him closer to an answer, that's for sure.
He thinks the best thing he can do, maybe, is just accept it. Accept not knowing.
Dal turns onto his side a bit to face Hyunki. ]
I do. I do love him. I wrestled with it a little. Because how am I supposed to know what this feeling is? [ He lays a hand over his chest. ] But I do know.
[ He turns a little red from having revealed as much, more embarrassed by the fact that he spoke what was on his mind without mulling it over a lot than by the words he said.
Same for his next reply: ] Myung and I have talked about that. About him using his mouth. And me, eventually. I'm still a little uncertain. It was because I was nervous, but now I've started realizing I like his hands so much... I don't know if there's anything I'll like better.
Oh, do you think that'd work? We could definitely try.
[ Hyunki is always willing to share this particular power of his, even if some others he's more precious about.
He nods, not pushing on the topic; he can only imagine, and sadly, he does not have much means to help.
He smiles at Dal's words about Myung, nodding again, because he knows that feeling all too well. ]
I know what you mean. It was strange for me, too, because I've never been in love before either. But what else can feel that way? This feeling of - I don't even know. It's like everything is right with him, even when it isn't. He's here for me and I for him, and I feel like I don't need anything or anyone else when I'm with him.
[ Hyunki traces the shape of the shadow mark he knows by heart in the blanket in front of him, lost in it for a moment, before he focuses again. ]
If you know, you know. You don't have to question it, just enjoy it.
[ He listens to Dal's next words, his smile growing. ]
Ah, but how can you know for sure until you've tried it? In my opinion, sex is one of these things where you can try anything at least once. If you don't like it, you just stop. Maybe you won't like his mouth as much as his hands, but who knows? You might still enjoy it, or you might enjoy doing it to him. And if you don't, just tell him.
[ He nods once more. ] It worked for us. We rushed through things, sure, but... we're doing really well. But every relationship is different.
It could. I don't really try to listen in when he's out a lot, but I know I can.
[ It's just a skill he's picked up over the years, whether he's tried to do so or not. Some things are just that way, huh? Probably much like Hyunki's power has no doubt become second nature to him in a lot of ways.
Strange, because Dal doesn't actually have a lot of experience with his own abilities. ]
Yes. It's like that. You know things are right, even though you can't always put it into words.
And sometimes you can put it into words and it's... amazing. [ Dal gestures vaguely, because he's talking about being eloquent about his feelings, but it's hard to do that spontaneously.
Hyunki will just have to trust that he can sometimes be loquacious. He's not proving his point now. ]
I don't want to rule anything out before I try it. That goes for things other than sex, too. I'd rather know than not. So I had the experience one way or another and could look back on it.
I'll remember what you said. And I'll tell him, if something doesn't work out.
[ Picking at the edge of his glove, Dal looks at Hyunki again. ] You're happy, right? Things happened at the right time for you?
We should try it. Nobody has anything to lose, and it's completely harmless, too. Bam might enjoy it.
[ Hyunki grins. He knows he talks a lot, it's one of these things of his, but in some ways, Dal reminds him of Adder. Adder is not exactly the most talkative, but he knows how to be when it matters.
Dal doesn't need to be loquacious now. What matters is for him to be when he's with Myung. ]
That's a good outlook. Even if the experience ends up being something you didn't enjoy, it's good to be able to have known it.
[ Hyunki is pretty sure he could not look happier if he tried. Well, that's a lie. If Adder was here with them, he probably would, but he also probably would be lost on him, and ignoring Dal, and that's just rude. ]
I'm very happy. Adder is perfect for me, and were I given the chance, I would not change a single thing. Would you?
I'm sure he would. I'm sure anyone would, wouldn't they? It would be a very interesting and- and valuable experience.
[ Dal thinks most things are interesting and valuable, but he does seem to be giving this an extra degree of thought. How personal powers and abilities can be to people is not something he's never considered. He thinks about it a lot, actually.
But how those things are shared, he's never been given much reason to think about too deeply. Because he's never had anything to share.
And that goes for his thoughts, too. He is indeed quiet and careful with the words he does use. Less so with Myung. And less so with a few people in this house now, too. ]
Yes, good to have known it. You can't know otherwise. [ He supposes some people can guess, but those are people who already have a broad variety of experiences.
Dal wouldn't mind being ignored if it meant Hyunki could be with his special person. He wouldn't mind a bit. ]
It sounds like he is good for you. Perfect, like you said. I think that's how I feel, too. There's nothing that should be different right now.
I think it is, too, but some people get freaked out by the idea of Trees being able to communicate.
[ If you'd asked Hyunki, he'd disagree that Dal doesn't have anything to share. He has plenty to share, just like everyone else in the world. One doesn't have to have magical powers to have something to share. ]
Exactly. That's how I'm trying to live, too.
[ That's sweet. He does hope Dal can meet Adder some day soon. They'd probably get along. Quietly. ]
He is. And it sounds like Myung is good for you, too. He's helping you know yourself better, and it seems like the most important thing, right now.
They do? [ Well, now you've stumped him again. ] They're alive just like you or I. [ His nose wrinkles slightly. ]
Doesn't seem that strange to me.
[ Dal would find that thought really kind. He'd have a pessimistic argument against it on hand, something about how he takes things, doesn't give them. But he might hold it back in Hyunki's presence. Perhaps. Hyunki is a person who makes him feel a little less rain cloudy.
That's a thing, really. ] Are you? [ Dal asks, eyes lightening up a little. It's not a smile, but it's adjacent to one somewhere.
Hyunki is right, they probably would get on. Quietly. ]
I think so. If I didn't know him, I don't think I'd know myself. Not as well as I've come to, anyway.
I guess it wouldn't have occurred to me. [ In the way that escalators wouldn't have occurred to him. Or pet names, at a certain point. Or a bunch of other elements of this world that seem self-evident to lots of people, but are completely novel experiences for Dal. ] I don't assume that because I can't understand something, that it isn't happening.
[ He doesn't have the luxury.
It's possible Dal's coming to understand that freedom might be his true gift. Not for himself, but for others. And through others, he might learn how to be free as well. ]
How do you prepare yourself to experience something you feel uneasy about? [ Dal asks, musing a little.
There's a thought in there somewhere. ]
I think when I got here, I didn't know what that meant. I wasn't happy and I wasn't unhappy. Now... yes, I think I am.
Right. Because it was a lot easier to think of things that were hard to explain as fiction? [ Dal understands this only theoretically. It's hard, as someone who is very, very difficult to explain.
Actually, his existence is apparently impossible to explain. ]
What if you don't know what the thing is? I'm not sure I understand my feelings well enough to pin down what might be causing them all the time. It's clearer when I'm with certain people.
Honestly? I don't know. I think so, in a way. How many of us have been thought of as fever dreams, or hallucinations? Probably many.
[ It must be worse for Dal, who doesn't even know what he is. If someone told him he was a hallucination, would he believe it? ]
Hmm. I wish I had an easy answer for you, but I think... you have to try, even if you're uneasy. Then, if you dislike the thing, or are uncomfortable with it, you know for sure.
I'm sure it's a lot, [ Dal says, nodding slowly. ] And I guess that's why it was so shocking. If something you didn't believe was true suddenly was...
[ He trails off, shrugging as best he can from his current position.
And let's just say Dal would be hard-pressed not to believe it if someone said that to him. He'd have to struggle with himself to make the argument it's not true. ]
Better to be certain than never know? [ He's going to have to think that one over, honestly. ] I do like to feel like I'm on steady ground. It helps.
There's a saying about that, I think? Something about hindsight. [ Dal shrugs, somewhat helplessly yet again.
He actually has no experience, in the most literal sense. It's hard for him to make judgement calls about things like this. There's no context for him. But he wants to keep talking about it, so he can get some perspective. ]
I'm figuring that out. With him, [ Dal says, cheeks turning a little pink. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2018-11-24 11:59 pm (UTC)Hm. Interesting. He's learned something new just by lying here. ]
I think meeting people here has changed me more than anything else so far. Not that I did a lot of living before I came here, but it feels like... it feels like everyone here has given me a little more of myself.
[ He's not too sure how else to put it. That feels right. Everyone has a different piece and they've all added something.
Now Dal can almost see himself clearly. He's getting closer every day. ]
Myung gave me the biggest piece. I was like you in that I'd never had any of these experiences, not even being touched by someone else. But I didn't even know to think of it the way you did. I thought I'd never have a chance to be with someone.
Do you think we're both lucky? That we found them when we did?
no subject
Date: 2018-11-26 12:19 pm (UTC)That's a nice way of phrasing things. We all learn and grow by interacting with others. Do you feel like you didn't know yourself, before? [ He pauses, listening out to the trees outside, asking them silently what they think. ]
The Trees seem to know you.
[ Does that sound ominous? ]
How did you feel, when you realized you could be with someone? Adder's the same as you, in a way - he never thought himself deserving of love, physical or otherwise. But falling for him was the easiest thing in the world to do, he's so generous, and kind, and gentle. Funny, too. [ Hyunki sighs, a little dreamily. Someone's smitten. ]
Do you like it? The physical intimacy?
[ Hyunki smiles. ]
I think it's fate. So I don't know if I'd call it luck, exactly.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-26 04:52 pm (UTC)I didn't have anything to go on. [ He turns his head. ] The trees know me? [ This is news to him. ] I don't know how that works.
[ It sounds interesting to him, not ominous. But he is clearly confused. ]
I felt free. And a little scared. Happy most of all. It's strange to be told something you thought was impossible isn't just possible, but is already happening to you.
Adder sounds like an impressive person. [ And, Dal thinks, Hyunki is impressive too. The way his love and affection manifest. Dal's a little jealous of how expressive he is. ]
I like it a lot. Probably more than I could say.
[ Pink cheeks say a lot on their own too. ]
I think... we might be lucky that fate likes us. That's what I think.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-26 07:39 pm (UTC)[ They will have things to say about your treehouse escapade, Dal.
Give the opportunity to talk about Adder, Hyunki grins. It's like he blooms, right here in front of Dal. A moonflower. ]
Adder is the most impressive person I've ever met. He's actually a god, really. He's been around for a very, very long time, and he's been lonely, and fate brought us together. I have learned so much from him, and I still do, every day. He's with me always. [ Hyunki taps lightly at his heart, where the shadow mark lays. ] He loves me, unconditionally, and I love him just the same.
[ With a grin, Hyunki leans forward a tiny bit. ]
Are you scared of talking about it? I promise you, it doesn't make it any less real. I might be able to ease some worries you might have - I'm still new at it, myself, so I can relate.
[ Dal's cute. ]
Fate and luck working hand in hand...
no subject
Date: 2018-11-26 07:53 pm (UTC)It's just he'd like to hear it again.
The trees can have opinions and thoughts about escapades if they want. Dal will try to behave like an adult about it. Even if he is perilously shy.
Watching Hyunki talk about Adder is cute. Dal is enjoying it, honestly. ]
Unconditionally, huh? That's sort of a big thing to say, isn't it? [ Dal isn't sure he could say the same. Not because his love is small, though in some ways it is small in scope. It's just he doesn't know what all the conditions might be and he worries about things like that. It gets better every day, the more he learns, but he still thinks about it from time to time.
About all the things he doesn't know.
Hyunki's grin sort of makes Dal feel a little red-faced. ] No, not scared... I don't know how to put it exactly. I want more than I think I should take all at once.
[ He nods at the comment about being new to this. That's reassuring to him and it makes it feel easier and safer to talk to Hyunki. He understands. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-11-27 10:33 am (UTC)[ More like you'll hear, but eh. Semantics. Hyunki nods. ]
It's true. You're very different, you know. I think they were a little surprised that you share a body, actually. It seems to confuse them. Do you know how it is, that the two of you do share in this way?
[ Maybe he could explain it, if Dal explains it to him.
Hyunki hums, extending a hand to graze at the tall grass surrounding the hammock. ]
It is. But it's the truth. At the very beginning, I was wary, too. Adder - Adder was gung-ho, from the get-go, it's like he knew that we were it for each other, but he still allowed me to get to the same conclusion at my own pace. And everything has happened quickly between us, that's true, but. It's this thing - when you know, you know. Maybe it's cliche.
[ He shrugs lightly. ]
But I know I'm going to spend the rest of my days with him. I will never love anyone the way I love him. I bear his mark, and he bears mine. We belong to each other.
[ He looks back, a little critically. ]
Does Myung think you're asking for too much? Or is he offering you to take as much as you'd like? Because I used to be a little worried about that, too - wanting too much, too hard, too fast. But turns out, Adder wanted exactly the same, and I never was too much for him. Maybe Myung wants to give you everything in the same way.
[ Hyunki tilts his head, for a moment listening to the wispy whispers of the Trees in his head. ]
Or are you worried for yourself, that it'll all be too much for you to handle? How much have you actually done? [ He asks, matter-of-fact. Oh, Hyunki. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-11-27 04:13 pm (UTC)It's not a power like any he's tried or used before. The more he's allowed to think about actually borrowing and using powers, the more curious he gets. ]
About me and Bam, I have no idea. We've been trying to figure that out for a long time. I wish I could tell you more, but I'm in the dark myself. Maybe someday we'll figure it out.
[ He sincerely hopes so, anyway. It's one of the things he hopes for most in this world, just to know who or what he is. It would definitely be helpful. ]
I guess cliches are popular for a reason. I don't think it sounds so farfetched to know something like that really quickly. [ Dal thinks over his next words for a second. ] When I met Myung, I'd never touched anyone. But I reached for him, the first day we met. He's always going to be the first person I touched.
[ He hunches his shoulders up a little, hugging himself. ]
I don't know if I can say as much as you can yet, maybe not for a long time, but I know that much.
[ Dal raises his head at the next part, looking perplexed. ] No, he's never indicated anything like that, it's- I don't trust myself. I'm the one imposing limits, not him. [ Dal's talking a lot right now. Hyunki's apparently very good at getting him to do so. To open up as much as he can.
Or needs to.
Or both.
He fidgets with the glove on his hand. ] I feel like I need to do things slowly. A little more each time. The first time, I just watched him. We've touched each other with our hands. [ He seems to be a little hesitant to say more. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-11-28 11:41 am (UTC)[ Hyunki makes a little noise. He can’t imagine not knowing what he is, intimately. He’s always been in touch with his powers and his origins. ]
It must be tough, not to know.
[ A pause. ]
Do you love him? You don’t have to know everything - I sure don’t. But if you know that, it helps. It makes everything clearer. I know you care deeply for him.
[ Hyunki is good to open up to. He doesn’t reveal secrets and he is a good listener. He doesn’t always have answers, but he’s good at brainstorming. He grins at Dal’s words. ]
Ah! Hands are a good starting point. I’m very fond of Adder’s mouth, but we also started with just hands at first. We did sort of rush through things - I admire your wish to take your time, I was very impatient.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-29 01:03 am (UTC)[ He shrugs. It's just a thing. ]
It is tough. I wonder about it a lot. [ But the more he wonders, the more he realizes he probably won't ever know. Wondering doesn't get him closer to an answer, that's for sure.
He thinks the best thing he can do, maybe, is just accept it. Accept not knowing.
Dal turns onto his side a bit to face Hyunki. ]
I do. I do love him. I wrestled with it a little. Because how am I supposed to know what this feeling is? [ He lays a hand over his chest. ] But I do know.
[ He turns a little red from having revealed as much, more embarrassed by the fact that he spoke what was on his mind without mulling it over a lot than by the words he said.
Same for his next reply: ] Myung and I have talked about that. About him using his mouth. And me, eventually. I'm still a little uncertain. It was because I was nervous, but now I've started realizing I like his hands so much... I don't know if there's anything I'll like better.
Did the path you took work for you?
no subject
Date: 2018-12-02 05:47 pm (UTC)[ Hyunki is always willing to share this particular power of his, even if some others he's more precious about.
He nods, not pushing on the topic; he can only imagine, and sadly, he does not have much means to help.
He smiles at Dal's words about Myung, nodding again, because he knows that feeling all too well. ]
I know what you mean. It was strange for me, too, because I've never been in love before either. But what else can feel that way? This feeling of - I don't even know. It's like everything is right with him, even when it isn't. He's here for me and I for him, and I feel like I don't need anything or anyone else when I'm with him.
[ Hyunki traces the shape of the shadow mark he knows by heart in the blanket in front of him, lost in it for a moment, before he focuses again. ]
If you know, you know. You don't have to question it, just enjoy it.
[ He listens to Dal's next words, his smile growing. ]
Ah, but how can you know for sure until you've tried it? In my opinion, sex is one of these things where you can try anything at least once. If you don't like it, you just stop. Maybe you won't like his mouth as much as his hands, but who knows? You might still enjoy it, or you might enjoy doing it to him. And if you don't, just tell him.
[ He nods once more. ] It worked for us. We rushed through things, sure, but... we're doing really well. But every relationship is different.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 05:44 am (UTC)[ It's just a skill he's picked up over the years, whether he's tried to do so or not. Some things are just that way, huh? Probably much like Hyunki's power has no doubt become second nature to him in a lot of ways.
Strange, because Dal doesn't actually have a lot of experience with his own abilities. ]
Yes. It's like that. You know things are right, even though you can't always put it into words.
And sometimes you can put it into words and it's... amazing. [ Dal gestures vaguely, because he's talking about being eloquent about his feelings, but it's hard to do that spontaneously.
Hyunki will just have to trust that he can sometimes be loquacious. He's not proving his point now. ]
I don't want to rule anything out before I try it. That goes for things other than sex, too. I'd rather know than not. So I had the experience one way or another and could look back on it.
I'll remember what you said. And I'll tell him, if something doesn't work out.
[ Picking at the edge of his glove, Dal looks at Hyunki again. ] You're happy, right? Things happened at the right time for you?
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Date: 2018-12-03 12:54 pm (UTC)[ Hyunki grins. He knows he talks a lot, it's one of these things of his, but in some ways, Dal reminds him of Adder. Adder is not exactly the most talkative, but he knows how to be when it matters.
Dal doesn't need to be loquacious now. What matters is for him to be when he's with Myung. ]
That's a good outlook. Even if the experience ends up being something you didn't enjoy, it's good to be able to have known it.
[ Hyunki is pretty sure he could not look happier if he tried. Well, that's a lie. If Adder was here with them, he probably would, but he also probably would be lost on him, and ignoring Dal, and that's just rude. ]
I'm very happy. Adder is perfect for me, and were I given the chance, I would not change a single thing. Would you?
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Date: 2018-12-05 04:24 pm (UTC)[ Dal thinks most things are interesting and valuable, but he does seem to be giving this an extra degree of thought. How personal powers and abilities can be to people is not something he's never considered. He thinks about it a lot, actually.
But how those things are shared, he's never been given much reason to think about too deeply. Because he's never had anything to share.
And that goes for his thoughts, too. He is indeed quiet and careful with the words he does use. Less so with Myung. And less so with a few people in this house now, too. ]
Yes, good to have known it. You can't know otherwise. [ He supposes some people can guess, but those are people who already have a broad variety of experiences.
Dal wouldn't mind being ignored if it meant Hyunki could be with his special person. He wouldn't mind a bit. ]
It sounds like he is good for you. Perfect, like you said. I think that's how I feel, too. There's nothing that should be different right now.
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Date: 2018-12-07 08:30 am (UTC)[ If you'd asked Hyunki, he'd disagree that Dal doesn't have anything to share. He has plenty to share, just like everyone else in the world. One doesn't have to have magical powers to have something to share. ]
Exactly. That's how I'm trying to live, too.
[ That's sweet. He does hope Dal can meet Adder some day soon. They'd probably get along. Quietly. ]
He is. And it sounds like Myung is good for you, too. He's helping you know yourself better, and it seems like the most important thing, right now.
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Date: 2018-12-10 04:28 pm (UTC)Doesn't seem that strange to me.
[ Dal would find that thought really kind. He'd have a pessimistic argument against it on hand, something about how he takes things, doesn't give them. But he might hold it back in Hyunki's presence. Perhaps. Hyunki is a person who makes him feel a little less rain cloudy.
That's a thing, really. ] Are you? [ Dal asks, eyes lightening up a little. It's not a smile, but it's adjacent to one somewhere.
Hyunki is right, they probably would get on. Quietly. ]
I think so. If I didn't know him, I don't think I'd know myself. Not as well as I've come to, anyway.
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Date: 2018-12-11 10:33 am (UTC)[ To Hyunki, it seems very much like Dal does give people things. Someone like Myung, who struggles with his power - what Dal gives him is freedom.
And that's just as important as any power. ]
Am I? Living this way? Yes. I am willing to experience everything at least once, even the things that scare me.
[ Hyunki smiles, running a hand through his own hair as he shifts to look at the ceiling. ]
Do you think you're happy?
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Date: 2018-12-11 04:19 pm (UTC)[ He doesn't have the luxury.
It's possible Dal's coming to understand that freedom might be his true gift. Not for himself, but for others. And through others, he might learn how to be free as well. ]
How do you prepare yourself to experience something you feel uneasy about? [ Dal asks, musing a little.
There's a thought in there somewhere. ]
I think when I got here, I didn't know what that meant. I wasn't happy and I wasn't unhappy. Now... yes, I think I am.
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Date: 2018-12-13 12:30 pm (UTC)[ It's a funny thing, to Hyunki. He can hardly believe that at all. How can a whole population be so willfully oblivious? ]
What are you uneasy about? It depends on the thing, I think.
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Date: 2018-12-13 05:20 pm (UTC)Actually, his existence is apparently impossible to explain. ]
What if you don't know what the thing is? I'm not sure I understand my feelings well enough to pin down what might be causing them all the time. It's clearer when I'm with certain people.
But not always.
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Date: 2018-12-17 12:43 pm (UTC)[ It must be worse for Dal, who doesn't even know what he is. If someone told him he was a hallucination, would he believe it? ]
Hmm. I wish I had an easy answer for you, but I think... you have to try, even if you're uneasy. Then, if you dislike the thing, or are uncomfortable with it, you know for sure.
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Date: 2018-12-18 04:53 am (UTC)[ He trails off, shrugging as best he can from his current position.
And let's just say Dal would be hard-pressed not to believe it if someone said that to him. He'd have to struggle with himself to make the argument it's not true. ]
Better to be certain than never know? [ He's going to have to think that one over, honestly. ] I do like to feel like I'm on steady ground. It helps.
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Date: 2018-12-18 12:23 pm (UTC)[ it's a touchy subject. One, often, better left alone. ]
Yes. It's my opinion, anyway. It hardly really matters, what you think is what matters. What you're comfortable with.
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Date: 2018-12-19 01:02 am (UTC)He actually has no experience, in the most literal sense. It's hard for him to make judgement calls about things like this. There's no context for him. But he wants to keep talking about it, so he can get some perspective. ]
I'm figuring that out. With him, [ Dal says, cheeks turning a little pink. ]